Long time no see...

Long time no post. I know I’m a bad blogger but I was finding it hard to post the last few months. It’s been a weird trip for me these last few months. When I have been able to afford to go to pole class I have been very happy, the problem is right now I just can’t afford to go. So the few times I have gone in the last few months I feel like I have completely lost all of my momentum I gain in those first few months. *sigh* I know that if I was working out at home I might have been able to maintain some of the strength I had built but I just can’t do it. Working out at home bores me so much. I hate it. I know this comes down to self-discipline and just making myself do it, but I’m not there yet mentally.  I have lots of excuses to not work out, and then I don’t work out, then I get depressed about losing my strength that if I try to work out I’m so put off by how little I can do that I get more depressed and then I just stop working out so I’m not upset with myself. It’s stupid, I know it, but it is also how it is. It is all i can do sometimes to be positive like the picture above states.

Luckily, I think soon I am going to be able to get pack to pole class soon. My studio has offered a program of work in trade for pole classes. We are meeting on Saturday, I’m not sure I’ll get the job (assistant work or helping clean the studio ect.)  But I want it so bad. Lately I’ve only been working 8 or so hours a week at my “real” job, so I can easily work the 4-6 hours a week required for this assistant job and have time to take my earnings in the form of a few pole classes a week.  Which would just be so fantastic.

I think when it comes down to it; I’m just in a point in my life right now where I feel like I have no control. There are a lot of things for me in the future but before I can even start to work on them I have to see what happens with other people in my life (My hubby getting a promotion, my father moving to California ect.) and those are things I have no control over. And I cannot start on my stuff until those things are settled.  It’s frustrating.  I wouldn’t say I’m depressed, that is much to strong of a word for what I am feeling now. Just down, I guess, stagnate.  It’s not a good feeling but it’s also not all consuming, I can still find joy in lots of things (friends, movies, my pets, my hunny ect.)But most days I just end up sitting at home watching tv, surfing the net or reading. All of these things I do love mind you, but there is a point when enough is enough.

I don’t really know what I’m trying to say in this blog, I guess just trying to organize my thoughts about how I have been feeling as of late. 

I think it is going to get better soon, I have a lot of things coming up that hopefully drag my ass out of sit around mode. Such as this job opportunity at Vertical Fusion, Denver Comic Con and moving next month.  I guess all I can say is wish me luck! 

What do you do to get yourself out of a funk? To keep your self positive? to remind yourself that you are an amazing person no matter what?

On preforming

Last night I was privileged enough to attend my studios winter showcase, the theme (being so close to Valentine’s Day) was Cupid’s Pole Show and they encouraged all of the performers to theme their dances around love. And it was amazing, I got to see some very talented women and men grace that stage and blow me a away. I love going to these show cases because they just show everyone’s personality so well! You can tell the more dance oriented people apart from the athletic ones, the serious personality’s from those who are a little more quirky. And they are all amazing!  I am so blessed to be surrounded by such talented people!  And I just love going out and supporting them.

And then people start looking at me (who has only been dancing for two months!) and asking “so are you preforming at the next showcase?” “When are you preforming?” “would you do more burlesque or more pole stuff?” and while I love that these people obviously support me enough to think that I can perform inform of a packed opera house I get a little panicked and say something like “ well, I’m not really there yet… maybe soon, or in like a year. I don’t know. We’ll see.”  

But inside of me is a dancer that longs for the stage!  And I think most people who take up this kind of dancing have a part of them that just wants to show off. Maybe not to a auditorium full of people, maybe just for their pole sisters and brothers or even just for their hunny or close friends but I believe that performer is there in all of us. And for me it took me about 1 second into my first class to begin thinking of preforming, and with that what songs I would like to preform too. Because we all know the song is everything.

So for your enjoyment, Sephy’s  Burlesque and Pole songs:

First of we have Circus by Britney Spears. I can’t help it! I LOVE this woman, and her music. This would most likely be the first song I’d ever preform too. It is a song that I could really get into and include a lot of chair and floor work into and don’t have to rely so much on the pole. And not to mention it would be a perfect excuse to buy some vertical black and whitestriped leggings from Derby Skinz and a coat with tails.  I mean what girl doesn’t want those?

The second song is a big gear change, it’s Come Round Soon by Sara Bareilles. I love this song and this is a song I would love to do my first full pole routine too. I just love the feel this song, dark and a little dirty and maybe a little bit passive aggressive. Not sure why I like the idea of pole dancing to this song so much, I just do.

Another song I would burlesque or polesque too would be Feeling Good by Michael Buble. That song is just sexy as all hell.

And just about every song Florance and the Machine song, not sure what it is but i think that woman's sound is just PREFECT for pole: Howl, Spectrum, Seven Devils, No Light No Light, Shake it Out, Drumming Song, Rabbit Heart. I mean I could go on but I think you get the point.

Some songs I would be doubles to, Jessie's Girl by Rick Springfield. Mostly beacuse one of my best friends is married to a man maned Jessie and I tend to bring this song up around them a lot so i think it would be prefect to do a doubles to this song with her. and it would be amazing. Maybe we could even get Jessie in on it. Another song I think would be beautiful to do doubles to would be Skyfall by Adelle its just such a sexy song and the use of the world "we" just makes me think of doubles.

And now a few songs I always joke about preforming to, who knows it might happen *wink*

Sexy and I know by Ricky Martin, the version he did on Glee. I don’t know, this song is super ridiculous but Ricky makes it fun! Also I am the whitest girl on the planet and the thought to dancing to this song fills me with a sort of perverse glee, also embarrassment.  

And then there is Sexy Back by Justin Timberlake. I mean, this song always makes me smile and I joke about it all the time,  but I don't think I could ever really preform to it in front of more then just a few friends for similar reasons as I could never really preform to Sexy and I know it. 

So those are a few of the songs I think about all the time, what songs to you dream of preforming to? I'd love to know! 

and for an added bonus, I got my angel crucifix last Wednesday and here it is! 

About flexibility

Truth be told, you don’t have to be flexible to be a pole dancer. But then again it doesn’t hurt. After all you will never fully get your Jade if you can’t do the splits and you will never get cocoon without back flexibility.  That’s just the truth. True you can make amazing routines without these moves but we want to learn ALL the moves. I know I do, and I can’t even climb yet!

So keeping with my pole goals this year I’m starting to work on my splits now so that by the time I can try to attempt these moves I can do them with ease. Or at least more ease then learning the move and not having the flexibility when I get there.

To mark my progress I’ve taken some photos of where I am not with  my splits

Front splits:

Left side first:

Right ride first:

I have a long way to go yet but I think with slow and steady work I can do it!  I’ve found several lists of stretches to help you get there (stretches for tight hips and 8 stretches to help you get your splits are just a few) and on Saturday I took my first aerial yoga class! 

 Look at all those pretty silks hanging next to those chrome poles!

Unfortunately, like most of my pole classes I am too busy doing the work to get pictures of myself doing it but let me tell you it was amazing! And a little painful, more so than I thought it was going to be because for some of the hangs the hammock needs to be bunched up and thin and is supporting your body weight (think cheese and wire) but I’m sure, that like pole, it is a sort of pain that you get used to or overcome as you get stronger. but Holly (the instructor) was amazing and helped everyone who needed it and created an atmosphere of calm and positive energy. But, oh my! It was crazy intense! In a good way. I hope to take more soon, if only I have more money to take all the classes! My studio also offers belly dancing classes! Why don't i have unlimited funds? i can barely afford my class a week as it is *le sigh* oh well.

Stating to Click

So last night I had my first pole class in a few weeks, with my beginner series ending and going to vacation a few weeks slipped by but I finally got my booty into class last night. And I am so glad I did. Perhaps a few weeks off was just what I needed because last night things just started to really click for me. I was able to hold my ice skater spin around the pole for the whole time, it only took me one miss start to get into my head stand and for the first time I also got my head off the ground. My mount into my climb was effortless and for the first time I felt like I might actually be able to climb. (We didn’t climb thought yesterday because it was the first time most of the girls were learning their mounts, next class we will see if I can get that climb though!) and I also got both of my feet of the ground at the same time for my fan legs! This is huge for me! they are still tiny, not very attractive fan legs but they are on their way!

Mostly though I was just amazed at how natural everything felt, amazed at how my body is learning and growing and strengthening in such a sort amount of time. I left class just feeling amazing and I cannot wait for my next class. I think I am going to sign up for my first mixed levels class soon. Up till now I have been in classes full of people in my level and the idea of taking a mixed level class intimidates me, but I think that is just why I need to do it. There is one on Saturday night that is a full range class Beginner to Advanced taught by the owner of the studio that I am thinking of doing. Actually, no, that  I am doing. I just signed up for it right now *deep breath* I really like Mel (the owner) and I’m sure the class will be wonderful, I think I’m just scared of being judged. Which is silly, every girl I have ever had class with is amazing and supportive. Also they will be working on their own stuff, why would they worry about what I am doing?

Sometimes, I think, as humans we have this idea that we are the center of the world. That people cannot help but notice us and think about us all the time. This is not true. And I have to remind myself of that. Even strangers who really annoy me don’t get more than a passing thought in the moment of annoyance. I need to remind myself that.

On a side note, I just noticed that one of the series I won is going to expire at the beginning of February and I need to ask Mel if I can extend that or something cuz I never got a chance to use it because of the class schedule. If not, I totally understand it was a prize after all they are not required to make sure I use the classes, but really, I’d love to have those 4 free classes. I mean who wouldn’t?

Pole Goals for 2013

Happy New Year!

So I just started pole obviously, but I want to set some goals for myself to achieve in the next year. Some of them might take a year; some of them might just take a few more months of work. But, I think having a list of things I know I want to do that I can cross off and feel achieved when I do is important.

The list:

- Achieve a full climb to the top of the pole

- “Prefect” my Push-Pull so that I can hold myself in spins such as Chair or Sun Wheel

- Invert  

- Turn that head stand into a hand stand

- Splits? (I only add the question mark because I have no idea if it is even possible to get your splits from noting to full in a year, but general flexibility is a must!)

So there is the list, Wish me luck!

I'm coming out!

So I’m a slacker, I’m sorry. I can only blame the holidays so much before I just have to say “Sephy, come now you could have totally written a few blog posts… you are just lazy.” So here I am.

I hope you all are having an amazing holiday season! I know I am!  I’m 4 weeks into my 5 week beginners course and I am so happy. I am loving the changes I am seeing in my body. More strength for sure and more stamina, but what I love the most is finding out how resilient my body is. After my first two classes I was SORE for a good while after class (re:4 or 5 days after) but since then while I might be sore after class it never carries into the next day. Sure I still have a long way to go, but ever week I see improvement. One week I might not be able to ever try to hold that spin, next week I can make it about once around the pole before I land. And improvement is a good thing! I knew going into this I was going to need more time than most to mater things, and I am surprising myself on how ok I actually am at the thought of that. With week 5 approaching some of the girls will be testing out of beginner and I am PROUD of them, not jealous. Which in turns makes me proud of myself. Envy is one of my biggest sins,  and I don’t feel it at all when I think about the progress I have made.

So what if I can’t climb yet, I can mount like a champ and was the first in my class to get that. And I can hold a crucifix for a bit, who cares if it’s only a few inches off the ground. Still counts!

Also! Headstands! Which I love, but desperately need a better bar to do them in so my boobs don’t suffocate me. 

We have started to wear heels in class, just a bit, for funzies. but that helped me have this amazing conversation with my dad last night at target over these shoes:

You see we were shopping for some last second Christmas tree trimmings when I spotted them (and their gold sisters) out of the corner of my eye. And partly squealed as I ran over and started to try them on. My dad defiantly giving me a 'What is it with girls and shoes?' look while I proclaimed that I *needed* these shoes. My dad rolls his eyes chuckling a bit,

“Just what you need, to be taller.”

“No! I need them for Pole Dancing!” (I proclaimed, pretty loudly in the middle of Target BTW) Which prompts my dad to laugh out loud.

“Oh, that is what ever father longs to hear.” He then looks at me, then at the shoes, and his looks totally says ‘You are going to break your neck’ before he asks “Do they have enough grip on the bottom so you don’t fall all over the place?”  Which I then explained how the shoes being smooth on the bottom helps you spin better and we then spent a good amount of time talking about pole and why I love it and how I’m feeling very good about myself and happy that I found a fitness that I really love and he nods and says “Well that is the biggest challenge when it comes to working out, no being bored, I’m glad you found something.” Did I mention that my father is pretty much the best father? Well he is. True Facts.

Which brings me to another story. I came out  as a pole dancer to my husband’s mother.

My husband comes from a very religious conservative family, I love them to pieces they are loving and kind. But there is a sort of unspoken rule about what we can talk about in front of his parents. Not because we fear they might throw holy water on us or send us off to bible camp, no more likely they will just nod but secretly think they have failed as parents somehow and we don’t want them to feel that way, because they are amazing people, just not the people their kids grew up to become. But a few weeks back I was over at his parents’ house and chatting with two of his sisters about how sore I was from class and I see it on his sister face before I turn around and see his mom looking at me with the worst concealed shocked expression I have ever seen.  I can practically see the thoughts pass over her face ‘Pole dancing! Oh my ! She stripping? My fat daughter in law is a stripper? How could I have let my son marry this? What about the children what will they think?’

Luckily my husband was in the room playing on his phone and he just looks up and says “You have to get past the stigma mom, it’s a great work out and a really beautiful form of dance.” And then it clicks for me. I pull out my phone and start to cue up a video while explaining that I was drawn to it because it is a beautiful for of dance and gymnastics that takes a lot of strength. And at this point I can tell she is still not trusting me, but is willing to give me the benefit of the doubt. But I know I have her. She used to be a dancer.

2 videos are all it took to change her mind completely. The first one I showed he was of my best friends showcase performance, because she knows her and I knew her seeing someone she knew do it would do a lot to change her mind. And after we got over the initial “So you have to wear so little?”  “Yes, because you need the skin contact to grip the pole.” She was impressed, she thought her dance was beautiful. She was starting to belive me. this isn't overtly sexual, this take talent.

 I then brought up Jenyne Butterfly’s dance to Dog Days are Over, and I had her. She screamed during parts of the video! And I swear she almost died when Jenyne did her slow air walk down she was so impressed.

And that was the end, the next time I saw her she was telling me how she had showed Jenyne’s video to several of her friends and family members.  And she keeps asking me questions about class and would pole dancing be good for someone with bad knees? Can you show me another one of those videos? How long before you started to notice a change in your body? Can you go in, not in class and use the poles for practice? I think I just need something fun to do to work out…

“I think the reason I am so interested in this pole dancing thing is because it is the closest I will ever come to flying.”

(I’ve always had a theory that his mom would be a new age hippy woman if she had not happened into this conservative life, she runs a new age healing business after all.)

So for Christmas my husband and I bought her 4 classes (1 intro class and 3 beginner classes) and I hope she loves them!  I think she will. Now what his father will think of this, that will be the interesting part.